All Eyes Unisex t-shirt
Regular price
$24.19
Because subtlety is for side characters ...
Behold: the shirt equivalent of a glitter cannon detonating inside a war crime tribunal.
This dazzling masterpiece captures Princess Donut in her natural state: center stage, emotionally devastating, and approximately three seconds away from either winning a talent competition or destroying a moon. Inspired by her legendary performance of “All Eyes on Me,” this shirt radiates confidence, chaos, and the absolute certainty that everyone in the room should already be applauding. And they should be.
Crafted for crawlers, drama queens, emotionally unstable bards, and anyone who has ever entered a room thinking:
“Yes. This moment is about me now.”
Features include:
A design so powerful it may cause nearby NPCs to develop inferiority complexes
The lingering aura of expensive perfume and catastrophic ego
Enough star power to make lesser shirts spontaneously fold themselves in surrender
Ideal for:
- Concerts
- Dungeon raids
- Passive-aggressively winning arguments
- Looking magnificent while your party falls apart around you
WARNING:
Side effects of wearing this shirt may include:
- A charisma bonus
- Sudden theme music
- Jazz hands during inappropriate moments
- An uncontrollable desire to narrate your own entrance
- People asking if you’re “the main character.” You are.
Dungeon Notice:
Failure to admire the wearer of this shirt for longer than three consecutive seconds may result in penalties, including psychic damage, public humiliation, or being verbally eviscerated by a talking cat in a tiara.
Behold: the shirt equivalent of a glitter cannon detonating inside a war crime tribunal.
This dazzling masterpiece captures Princess Donut in her natural state: center stage, emotionally devastating, and approximately three seconds away from either winning a talent competition or destroying a moon. Inspired by her legendary performance of “All Eyes on Me,” this shirt radiates confidence, chaos, and the absolute certainty that everyone in the room should already be applauding. And they should be.
Crafted for crawlers, drama queens, emotionally unstable bards, and anyone who has ever entered a room thinking:
“Yes. This moment is about me now.”
Features include:
A design so powerful it may cause nearby NPCs to develop inferiority complexes
The lingering aura of expensive perfume and catastrophic ego
Enough star power to make lesser shirts spontaneously fold themselves in surrender
Ideal for:
- Concerts
- Dungeon raids
- Passive-aggressively winning arguments
- Looking magnificent while your party falls apart around you
WARNING:
Side effects of wearing this shirt may include:
- A charisma bonus
- Sudden theme music
- Jazz hands during inappropriate moments
- An uncontrollable desire to narrate your own entrance
- People asking if you’re “the main character.” You are.
Dungeon Notice:
Failure to admire the wearer of this shirt for longer than three consecutive seconds may result in penalties, including psychic damage, public humiliation, or being verbally eviscerated by a talking cat in a tiara.
Size guide
| LENGTH (inches) | WIDTH (inches) | CHEST (inches) | |
| XS | 27 | 16 ½ | 31-34 |
| S | 28 | 18 | 34-37 |
| M | 29 | 20 | 38-41 |
| L | 30 | 22 | 42-45 |
| XL | 31 | 24 | 46-49 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 | 50-53 |
| 3XL | 33 | 28 | 54-57 |
| 4XL | 34 | 30 | 58-61 |
| 5XL | 35 | 31 | 62-65 |
| LENGTH (cm) | WIDTH (cm) | CHEST (cm) | |
| XS | 68.6 | 42 | 78.7-86.4 |
| S | 71.1 | 45.7 | 86.4-94 |
| M | 73.7 | 50.8 | 96.5-104.1 |
| L | 76.2 | 55.9 | 106.7-114.3 |
| XL | 78.7 | 61 | 116.8-124.5 |
| 2XL | 81.3 | 66 | 127-134.6 |
| 3XL | 83.8 | 71.1 | 137.2-144.8 |
| 4XL | 86.4 | 76.2 | 147.3-155 |
| 5XL | 89 | 78.7 | 157.5-165 |