Mongopalled Unisex t-shirt
Regular price
$29.02
A shirt for people whose life choices have triggered at least three intergalactic ethics investigations.
At last, a garment scientifically engineered to offend reptiles, alarm authority figures, and confuse old women at the grocery store.
This premium-quality shirt features the now-infamous “Mongo is Appalled” design in a style suspiciously similar to a certain prehistoric-themed corporate disaster park that absolutely, definitely cannot sue you if you squint hard enough. Wearing it broadcasts several important messages to the universe:
You have survived situations that should have legally counted as boss fights.
You understand that screaming is a valid management strategy.
You recognize that Mongo’s disappointment is far more devastating than death.
Perfect for dungeon crawls, apocalypse scenarios, awkward family dinners, and standing motionless in the snack aisle while contemplating the collapse of civilization.
WARNING:
Wearing this shirt may result in:
Goblin admiration
Velociraptor-related conversations
Sudden urges to loot containers marked “DO NOT OPEN.”
The Dungeon AI narrating your poor decisions in real time
Dungeon Tip!
If someone points at your shirt and says, “Mongo is appalled,” the correct response is not shame. The correct response is:
“Good. He should be.”
At last, a garment scientifically engineered to offend reptiles, alarm authority figures, and confuse old women at the grocery store.
This premium-quality shirt features the now-infamous “Mongo is Appalled” design in a style suspiciously similar to a certain prehistoric-themed corporate disaster park that absolutely, definitely cannot sue you if you squint hard enough. Wearing it broadcasts several important messages to the universe:
You have survived situations that should have legally counted as boss fights.
You understand that screaming is a valid management strategy.
You recognize that Mongo’s disappointment is far more devastating than death.
Perfect for dungeon crawls, apocalypse scenarios, awkward family dinners, and standing motionless in the snack aisle while contemplating the collapse of civilization.
WARNING:
Wearing this shirt may result in:
Goblin admiration
Velociraptor-related conversations
Sudden urges to loot containers marked “DO NOT OPEN.”
The Dungeon AI narrating your poor decisions in real time
Dungeon Tip!
If someone points at your shirt and says, “Mongo is appalled,” the correct response is not shame. The correct response is:
“Good. He should be.”
Size guide
| LENGTH (inches) | WIDTH (inches) | CHEST (inches) | |
| XS | 27 | 16 ½ | 31-34 |
| S | 28 | 18 | 34-37 |
| M | 29 | 20 | 38-41 |
| L | 30 | 22 | 42-45 |
| XL | 31 | 24 | 46-49 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 | 50-53 |
| 3XL | 33 | 28 | 54-57 |
| 4XL | 34 | 30 | 58-61 |
| 5XL | 35 | 31 | 62-65 |
| LENGTH (cm) | WIDTH (cm) | CHEST (cm) | |
| XS | 68.6 | 42 | 78.7-86.4 |
| S | 71.1 | 45.7 | 86.4-94 |
| M | 73.7 | 50.8 | 96.5-104.1 |
| L | 76.2 | 55.9 | 106.7-114.3 |
| XL | 78.7 | 61 | 116.8-124.5 |
| 2XL | 81.3 | 66 | 127-134.6 |
| 3XL | 83.8 | 71.1 | 137.2-144.8 |
| 4XL | 86.4 | 76.2 | 147.3-155 |
| 5XL | 89 | 78.7 | 157.5-165 |